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- The Parenting Paradox
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Description
Parenting is a paradox: to truly love our children, we must also give them the space to grow.
Many devoted parents instinctively step in to protect and guide their children yet struggle knowing when to step back. While “helicopter parenting” is widely discouraged, parents are often left without clear, practical alternatives.
In The Parenting Paradox: Loving Our Children by Giving Them Space to Grow, Dr. Jenny Brown offers a new perspective--not about loving less, but about shifting the anxious energy that often comes with deep parental care to a more constructive type of love. Dr. Brown sheds light on the cultural forces shaping today's intensive parenting, revealing how well-meaning advice can often undermine a parent's growth and confidence. Through real-life experiences and professional insights, she challenges the message that constant intervention is necessary for a child to flourish and instead provides a thoughtful, lasting approach to fostering independence.
Rather than offering a quick fix or the latest parenting trend, The Parenting Paradox provides a sustainable path forward. Dr. Brown helps parents navigate their own fears while giving their children space to build confidence and resilience. And in creating that space, parents also grow, gaining clarity in their role so they can become the loving leaders they aspire to be.
Table of Contents
Foreword
Preface
Introduction: A New Journey in How We Love Our Children
SECTION ONE-Making Sense of this Age of Intensive Parenting
1. Today's Overwhelmed Parent: How We Got Here
2. Worried Parents
3. The Many Faces of Intense Parenting
4. Parents on the Sidelines-Rethinking Messages About Children's Mental Health
5. From Confusion to Clarity-The Preventive Role of Parents in Children's Mental Health
SECTION TWO: A Unique Approach to Regaining Balance
6. The Parent Is the Project, Not the Child
7. The Contagion of Calm
8. The Worry and Conflict Cycle-How to Get Off the Merry-Go-Round
9. Parents Stepping Up-Holding Limits and Discovering Your 'I' Position
10. Parent Leadership in the Digital World
11. The Parent Job Description-Loving Leadership that Enables Each Sibling to Grow
12. Connection and Love Without the Pressure
SECTION THREE: Parenting is a Broader Family and Community Affair
13. Strengthening Marriage and Parenting Partnerships
14. Beyond the Isolated Nest- Parenting With a Wider Family Lens
15. Embracing the Village-How Families Thrive in Community
16. Balanced Love-The Sustainable Long Game of Parenting
Notes
Bibliography
Index
About The Author
Product details
| Published | Jun 11 2026 |
|---|---|
| Format | Hardback |
| Edition | 1st |
| Extent | 296 |
| ISBN | 9798765161968 |
| Imprint | Bloomsbury Academic |
| Illustrations | 3 bw images, 4 tables |
| Dimensions | 216 x 140 mm |
| Publisher | Bloomsbury Publishing |
About the contributors
Reviews
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You love your child so much, but they seem to be suffering. What more can you do? Simple: Adjust what you can adjust-you! This very compassionate, non-shaming, real-world guide will tell you how.
Lenore Skenazy, president of Let Grow, author of Free-Range Kids
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The Parenting Paradox equips parents to dial back anxiety, stay grounded, and thoughtfully make space for their kids to grow. Blending clinical expertise, real-life case studies, and actionable advice to guide readers in self-reflection and intentional parenting, this book offers invaluable insight for anyone seeking a more satisfying, meaningful connection with their children.
Darby Saxbe, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Southern California and author of Dad Brain: The New Science of Fatherhood
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The Parenting Paradox is a rare, refreshing antidote to intensive parenting culture. Dr. Brown invites parents to shift from fixing their children to growing themselves, offering a calm, steady path toward clarity, confidence, and genuine connection at home.
Bryana Kappadakunnel, author of Parent Yourself First
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This is an important book for parents-and for all who work with them. The point about easing pressure on kids is vital, and this book adds concrete advice on how parents can do so, grounded in the author's research and clinical experience. Such guidance has been largely missing from previous discussions, and I sincerely believe it can move the conversation forward.
Peter N. Stearns, co-author of The American Child: The Transformation of Childhood Since World War II, professor emeritus at George Mason University
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When a parent makes themselves the project, and not the child, everyone is freed up to be a little more responsible for themselves. Differentiation-based parenting is for anyone who wants to relate to their child from a more solid, principled position.
Kathleen Smith, PhD, author of True to You and Everything Isn't Terrible

























