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The Strategic Use of Fidelity in Romantic Relationships
Defensive Monogamy and Self-Protection
The Strategic Use of Fidelity in Romantic Relationships
Defensive Monogamy and Self-Protection
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Description
This book offers a bold reinterpretation of monogamy, framing it not as a reflection of romantic desire but as a calculated effort to secure exclusivity from a partner.
Despite widespread dissatisfaction, infidelity, and high divorce rates, monogamy remains the dominant relationship model. Rather than attributing this persistence to irrationality or tradition, James K. Beggan explores monogamy as a defensive practice-a strategic agreement in which individuals seek commitment primarily to ensure their partner's fidelity. Rooted in fear of loss, jealousy, and emotional insecurity, this book reveals how monogamy often functions as a protective mechanism rather than a mutual aspiration. People overestimate their ability-or willingness-to uphold monogamous commitments, viewing them less as personal convictions and more as tools for managing risk. Drawing on interdisciplinary research across behavioral economics, psychology, sociology, and decision science, this book reconceptualizes monogamy as a form of social bargaining. By shifting the focus from morality to strategy, it challenges the ideal of romantic exclusivity and raises a provocative question: Are declarations of loyalty expressions of love, or are they evidence of doubt dressed as devotion?
Table of Contents
Section One: The Holy Grail of Monogamy
Chapter 1: The Meaning of Monogamy
Chapter 2: The Monogamy Game
Chapter 3: Marriage and Monogamy
Chapter 4: Rationalizing Monogamy
Chapter 5: Performative Monogamy
Section Two: The Downside of Monogamy
Chapter 6: Committing to Defensive Monogamy
Chapter 7: Commitment in Relationships
Section Three: Rejecting Monogamy and Matrimony
Chapter 8: Infidelity
Chapter 9: Divorce and Consensual Nonmonogamy
Conclusion
References
Index
About the Author
Product details

Published | Jan 08 2026 |
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Format | Hardback |
Edition | 1st |
Extent | 288 |
ISBN | 9781666981148 |
Imprint | Bloomsbury Academic |
Illustrations | 1 bw figure, 4 tables |
Dimensions | 229 x 152 mm |
Publisher | Bloomsbury Publishing |
About the contributors
Reviews
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The Strategic Use of Fidelity in Romantic Relationships interrogates the monogamy myth by identifying the logical and pragmatic fissures in monogamy theory and practice. Beggan's expansive examination begins with a simple observation regarding divorce rates and proceeds to address previous research, popular defenses, and persistent assumptions regarding Western culture's continued valorization of monogamy particularly in its most common form, marriage. Beggan's provocative concept of “defensive monogamy” challenges existing conceptualizations and data regarding fidelity and is a significant contribution to relationship studies. Through “defensive monogamy,” he more accurately and more rationally describes the way in which relationships function and the ways they dysfunction. In the words of J. P. Morgan, people make decisions for two reasons: the “good reason” and “the real reason.” Beggan's excellent work investigates the real reasons we deploy monogamy and how those reasons frequently derail the fidelity and security couples seek.
Ann C. Hall, professor emeritus, University of Louisville