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Subsequent siblings, who are sometimes referred to as replacement children, are people who were born after the death of a brother or sister. Little has been written about them or from their perspective. This non-fiction, self-help, psychology book breaks new ground by assembling rich and heartfelt life stories from a diverse group of subsequent siblings while also weaving in clinical literature and discussion. It is based upon more than one hundred subsequent sibling interviews, which, to the authors' knowledge, currently comprises the largest and most diverse sample of this group. Through the subjects' engaging narratives the reader can understand some of the common obstacles and repercussions of the subsequent sibling role. Additional testimonies from parents and surviving siblings illuminate the multilayered impacts of loss upon a family system.
Those who are born after a deceased sibling enter a family that has been forever changed by loss. This book provides a brief overview of the research on subsequent children and the concept of the replacement child. It examines the parental experience of the death of a child, the complexity of pregnancy after loss, and the intrauterine and attachment experiences of children born after loss. The death of a child causes immense parental pain and impacts parenting approaches, perhaps resulting in impaired bonding or overprotectiveness of subsequent children. Some subsequent siblings are expected, consciously or unconsciously, to serve as a replacement for their lost sibling and to fill the void of loss. A variety of replacement dynamics can occur, and in some instances the subsequent child is viewed as an inadequate substitute for a deceased and idealized sibling. This book explores common issues that are faced by subsequent siblings, which include impaired bonding with parents, a sense of pressure to heal their families, survivor guilt, phobias, difficulties with identity formation, and the shouldering of caretaker roles. Their loss and experiences are often unrecognized because they were born after their sibling's death. Like most mourners, many subsequent siblings need to make meaning of their loss. It is often complex for them to grieve for an unmet sibling, or to integrate their sibling's death into their life story. Many subsequent siblings also recognize strengths that they have gained because of their role. This book includes chapters about surviving siblings and children who were born after a sibling with special needs.
Published | Dec 03 2024 |
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Format | Hardback |
Edition | 1st |
Extent | 300 |
ISBN | 9781538172162 |
Imprint | Rowman & Littlefield Publishers |
Illustrations | 2 BW Photos |
Dimensions | 0 x 0 inches |
Publisher | Bloomsbury Publishing |
Sibling loss often goes unnoticed and is downplayed, and its complexity deepens for replacement children, born after the death of a brother or sister. In this groundbreaking book, the authors intricately explore the emotional landscape of individuals living in the shadows, and compelled to fill roles left vacant by a deceased sibling they never had the chance to meet. This book is a reminder that even unacknowledged losses leave enduring imprints, and sheds light on the resilience and unique challenges faced by replacement children who navigate the intricate paths of grief and identity.
Dr. Heidi Horsley, executive director at Open to Hope Foundation; adjunct professor, Columbia University
Born Into Loss is a wonderful work and a real contribution to the ways that children
and their families deal with the enduring presence of a deceased sibling. While written for families, this book is a thoughtful and sensitive guide-but also a valuable asset to the
counselors who assist them. It is a real gift!”
Kenneth J. Doka, PhD, senior vice-president for Grief Programs, The Hospice Foundation of America
This book provides a vital and compassionate resource for bereaved parents who are pregnant with a subsequent child. In addition to addressing the experience of children born after loss, it includes supportive, informative suggestions for grieving parents, to help them understand their continuing bond to their deceased child and their attachment process with the baby that follows.
Margaret Murphy, nurse midwife; faculty, University College Cork; and co-author, Different Baby Different Story: Pregnancy and Parenting After Loss
This book provides insights rarely heard of the experiences of children born after loss. As O'Leary states “Like a stone thrown in still water, the loss of a child has a rippling effect in families…” This is a meaningful read and resource. -- Pregnancy Loss and Infant Death Alliance
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